Why a gragger? Why New Year's Day? What was the story? I dreamed of you the other night, but my questions have no answers. One of the things I brought home with me after you died was a silver gragger, engraved from Mom to you and dated January 1, 2000. I do feel a certain closeness to you and Mom when I'm there, walking where you walked. Look how tall your grandson's gotten, I said, as though you can see him more clearly when we're there. I pressed my palm to the earth and cried. No wonder I feel scrambled.ĭear Dad: what a year it's been. His will come first during non-leap years. Hers comes first during leap years, which fits the way we experienced it. Jewishly, their yahrzeits now orbit around each other. On the Gregorian calendar, Mom died in February and Dad died in March. not normal, because they've switched places. This year's a "normal" one, not a leap year, which makes their yahrzeits feel. As it happens, Mom also died during a Jewish leap year, on the 21st of Adar I. Talk about topsy-turvy: my world was completely upside-down.ĭad died on the 6th of Adar II (the second Adar that happens in a leap year), right before Purim. On Purim I was in the midst of the week of shiva. That's why I can't remember last Purim: I didn't have one. "Weren't you in shiva?" he asks, and the memory stops me in my tracks. It's as though Purim has been wiped off of my mental map. Surely last year I must have celebrated it in some way! But I can't remember a thing. "What did we even do for Purim last year?" I wonder aloud to a friend.
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